


Stretch

by Challopea



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 21:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1999407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Challopea/pseuds/Challopea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short story set right after Chapter 52 of the Manga. Hange and her squad joined the new Levi Squad in the hiding. Levi insisted that they join the Levi Squad in their training routine as well. Hange defied Levi's order and encouraged the kids to skip the training and have some fun. Levi became very angry... Slightly LeviHan if you look it that way. No explicit fluff unless you look really really hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stretch

They may be hiding, but it did not mean that they can go without training--at least Levi does not think so. That is why they spent the entire afternoon running in circles, jumping up and down, lifting weights... Everyone is there, not only the kids from the new Levi Squad, but also Hanji and her crew. Levi insists that they go through the entire routine he has developed for the Scout Legion, step by step, so they can be fit, sharp and ready to take on any enemy, Titan or not, at any time.

By the time Erwin's messenger arrives from the headquarter, everybody is exhausted and eager for a break, except Levi. 'Wait,' his voice is not very loud but clear enough to stop everybody in their mid of leaving. The added-on sound effect of his hand slapping very hard on top of Hanji's head helped as well.

"Are you out of your mind, Clean Freak?" Hanji tries to steal a jab at the Corporal's side, but it is deflected by the shorter man's reflexive arm block. The momentum sends her falling backwards. Hanji takes the opportunity and pretends that she's slapped all the way back into her crunching position on the ground, complaining loudly while rubbing where she's hit, 'hey, Clean Freak, what's it for? It really hurts!"

"Give me a break, your Idiot!" Shooting his most menacing scowl back at the familiar face, now exaggeratedly distorted by faked expressions of pains, Levi makes sure everybody hear him, "we are not done yet! Have you guys stretched? How many more times do I have to tell you fucking Idiots how important it is? Especially you!" Catching her on her leg before she was able to crawl away, Levi kneels down and drags the brown-hair woman back to her place, "Especially you, Shitty Glasses, you are damned as tight as a log!" before he stands up and looks at his watch and yells at the top of his lung--"Everybody, Stretch until I am back! Start, one, two, three, Now!' before he wanders off towards cottage with the messenger.

"But it is getting darker,' after the Corporal is completely out of sight, Sasha complains in a barely audible voice, 'if we don't go hunting now, it will be too late. It has been so long we last had any meat.' with the two corners of her mouth dropped as far as she could, she turns around and looks at everyone else in the group.

People start to stop whatever stretches they are doing, looking at each other, but nobody says anything. In the meanwhile, the low hanging sun of the late autumn starts to sink more and more toward the horizon.

Hanji pushes herself off the ground with a big loud sigh and grabs Armin's shoulder to pull him up with her. 'Come on, Armin! Hurry up, Boy! You mentioned you've got an idea about how to set up a trap for the murderers of poor Nick. Boy, this is so exciting. I can't wait to hear what you have to say!' With her signature big grin on her face, Hanji shoves the much smaller Armin towards the cottage. Armin stumbles for at least three steps, before he can catch himself and regain his balance. Hanji turns around and waves at the completely stunned crowd on the ground, 'Jean and you, you two take patrol; Neefa and Historia, good girls, go and get the kitchen started; and everybody else, go, go, go! It is getting dark." With a big smile on her face, she turns towards Sasha, "Girl, take your bow and arrows and show these idiots how good a hunter you are!" while raising her arms at the elbow in the middle of the air, her fists pumped towards the sky, as if showing off how much muscle she has on her arms, then she adds, "Wait, Moblit, you are in charge! Show these good kids how to have a great time!" before laughing her way back to the cottage, dragging poor Armin with her.

It is their lucky day. They are able to catch several rabbits, a wild goose and even a small deer. Eren does have a little trouble with shooting Bambi, but before he can complain, Sasha has already released the string. Poor Eren does not realize that she's such a good mark's man, but he does know what effects the word 'meat' has on her. So he is not that surprised.

That is the only sad part of the entire hunting trip, and everybody is so happy, chattering lovely about the great dinner they are going to have as they draw close to the small cottage, until they are close enough to hear the screams. Loud screams. Though they are still too far away to make out the words. It is very clear that whoever it is, he or she must have been in extreme pains, screaming at the top of their lungs for help, for someone to come running and saving their dear life.

Moblit stops right in middle of his steps. He steps one or two steps forward, his head slightly tilted, his ears turning towards the cottage, all his attention focuses on the screams. Everybody stops after him. Nobody says a single word. It is very quiet. Just after a short snapping moment of silence, Moblit picks up his legs and bursts into a fast sprint toward the cottage. Almost at the same time, Eren starts to run as well and quickly surpasses him. His Titan senses are much sharper than that of the human's, so though he does not know the person well, he's still able to figure who the voice is. It is Hanji.

'Stop! Oh. It hurts!'

'Oh, please, please, stop! It really, really hurts!'

'Oh, Don't, that's not humanly possible! Stop! My leg is coming off!'

'Oh, Don't, my hip, my hip! Those are my hips!'

'Oh, my neck, my neck, oh, it is breaking, it is breaking… Oh, stop, it really, really hurts!'

The words are getting clearer and clearer as he gets closer and closer. 'Take the kitchen door! Take the kitchen door!' Moblit shouts behind his back to remind him that the kitchen door is closer. He almost takes the long route to go to the front of the house. This gives Moblit enough time to catch up with him. By the time Eren pushes open the kitchen door to rush in, Moblit is practically at his heels. But to Eren's surprise, instead of rushing in and knocking right into him, Moblit stops at the door step, his face completely stunned, one of his legs still hanging in the air.

Surprised, Eren's suspicion's aroused, and he pauses in his steps to take a cautious look around the room. Nothing special. At least it seems so. Everybody is there. Everybody who does not join the hunt. Armin is right by the door, at the other end of the kitchen, the one that leads into the living room, his eyes lowered, his hands crossed, fingers twisting. The two men from Hanji's squad who are supposed to be on patrol are standing right behind him, staring at their feet instead of the door.

Historia is leaning into the side of the kitchen sink, her hands holding hard onto her apron, her blonde head lowered, and her face blushed. Neefa is right beside her, her hand on Historia's shoulder, the corner of her mouth curled, her head slightly turned, and her eyes staring outside the window. 

The sight of Historia and Armin, disturbed but not distressed, calms Eren's beating heart down a little. He can hear the screams much clearer now--they are definitely coming from the living room, just behind the door. "What happened?" Eren asks while stepping forward to push it open. But before his hands reach the door, one of Hanji's men grabs them and pulls him back.

"Why?" before Eren can blurt the word out, his mouth's already covered by Armin's hands. 'Shush! It is ok.' Armin tries to assure him in a barely audible voice.

'She is screaming!' Eren raises his eyebrow because he can't raise his voice, mumbling these words into Armin's hand.

'It is ... ok.' Armin lowers his head, instead of looking back into Eren's searching eyes. 

'She is screaming!' Eren, finally able to break free from Armin, almost shouts the words out. 

'Stop!' Armin, startled by Eren's words, tries very hard to mime the emergency of situation to Eren while whispering the word. 

Completely confused, Eren's eyes searching all over the room for a more definitive explanation, but everyone is either lowering their eyes or turning their head away. 

'Can anyone tell me what's going on?' the sudden raise of Eren's voice almost startled Armin. He rushes forward, grabs Eren by the hand, leads him to the door, points to a tiny almost unnoticeable crack in the door, turns his head away as if he's completely embarrassed, and whispers in a barely audible voice, 'see for yourself.' 

'What?' The crack is tiny. But it's big enough for Eren to see through. He can only see a narrow part of the room. The room's dark, just a dim light on the table, which is almost completely blocked out by the shadow hovering over the table.

It is the Corporal.

It takes him a couple of seconds to figure out where Hanji is. First he can only see a barefoot leg pushing against the Corporal's shoulder. Then he figures out that it is her hands and arms waving around in the air.

She's on the table and it seems that no one else is in the room. No other enemy except the Corporal. Eren feels relieved and allows Armin to pull him back.

"What happened?" Eren turns his head back at Armin, whispering in the lowest voice he can imagine.

Armin puts his arms down and lets them hang by his side, his head slightly lowered, and his eyes shifting left to right and right to left as if he's fumbling through all the words he knows to find the best way to explain it, "we were talking about my idea. Hanji was very excited. She was taking notes, and also making some drawings. Before long, it was dark, and we did not realize it and forgot to turn the lights on. It was pretty dark in the room but it was nothing for the Corporal, when he came downstairs with the messenger, he saw us there and asked, 'why are you guys here, you damned fools? Shouldn't you be bloody outside stretching?' Hanji tried to explain, but he would not listen. He told the messenger to leave and came over to pull me out of the chair, threw me out into the kitchen, slammed the door behind me before shouted, 'that includes you too, Little Brat!' 

Armin sighs, looking up at him with a very sad look, and finishes his explanation, 'that is what happened.'

Realizing that the Squad leader is not in any real danger, Eren relaxes into the door frame and sighs, "I am glad that she is not in any danger." The sound of the blood rushing to his head starts to die down and he can hear more clearly what the squad leader's babbling when she's not screaming exaggeratedly for pains.

'Yes, there, just there, that is the spot. Oh, Levi, that is it.'

'Yes, there, deeper, Levi, just a little deeper. Oh, Levi, you are so great!'

When she's not screaming exaggeratedly, she is, well, moaning, even more exaggerated, so exaggerated that even Eren, the official knucklehead of the Squad according to Levi, starts to feel embarrassed. Lucky for him, the moaning soon comes to a stop, and footsteps come closer and closer on the other side to the door. Then the door opens, and the Corporal steps outside in big strides.

He is as dandy and immaculate as he always is, not a single wrinkle on his clothes. Closely behind him was Hanji, her face in a big exaggerated grin, her eyes twinkling while she slowly and exaggeratedly extends both of her arms over her head, pull her military jacket all the way up in the air before put it back on.

'Levi, that was a great stretch! It feels so good!' With a big loud 'thank you', the squad leader pull her head as close as possible to the side of Levi's head and gives him a loud wet smacking kiss on his cheek.

'Stop, Idiot!' The Corporal's big loud scolding turns into a low mumbling, 'Not in front of every...', before he's able to finish the words, a big heavy swat on his back catches him completely off guard and sends him jerking forward.

'Gotcha! I got the strongest of the Humankind!' Hanji's grin's as long as she can manage, 'Clap, everyone, come on, Clap!', her hands clapping as hard as she can, and her legs jumping up and down.

'What are you doing, Shitty four-eyes?' the Corporal finally catches himself, sneering at the squad leader with his usual scowl.

'That is for making me hurt! You don't have to make it hurt so much! It really hurts!' the squad leader complains, her lips pouting.

'That is what you get when you don't do your stretch!' the Corporal's scowl get even deeper, when he looks around the room, staring at everybody standing inside and outside.

Connie's the first one to get back his senses. 'Yes, Sir! Stretch! We all need to stretch!' He picks up his feet and started running towards the door, as fast as he can.

Soon everybody follows and files out of the kitchen, including Armin, after he gets the reassuring nods from the squad leader.

'Go! Just go! Everything will be ok.' The squad leader whispers to him with a big smiley face.

Dinner that night is very late, at least two hours later than usual. Everyone stays in the courtyard focusing on their 'stretching' in the dark and cold night with no stars and no moonlight. But nobody dares to come in. The Corporal has made a very good example and showed them what will happen if they don't not 'finish' their stretching. But the smell of the cooking dinner feels some good--the smell of roasted geese and broiled rabbits is so attempting. Their empty stomaches start to grumble louder and louder. But nobody dares to come in, not until Hanji opens the windows of the kitchen, sticking her dirty charcoal smoldered face out and calls, 'dinner is ready! everybody, come back in!'

Inside the kitchen, it is very warm and cozy. The Corporal is standing in front of the sink, finishing up the last bit of cleaning. Hanji's happily waving everybody in and rushing them to settle around the table. The table is all set out, freshly baked bread just out of the oven, broiled rabbits, geese, baked potatoes-it is like a feast, a holiday feast that is good enough for a king.

'It is all the Corporal's cooking,' Hanji declared proudly with that big grin on her face, 'I did help though-look!' pointing everybody to her messy apron. It was all soiled up. In fact, it was not just her apron, even the back of her shirt was covered with flour, and the front of her shirt has large stains of indeterminable liquids like grease or vinegar on them, spreckled with flour, pieces of potato peels, and etc.

'Stop it, Idiot! I told you to go upstairs and change. You look so gross, you damned four eyes!' the corporal stops her from trying to steal his usual place at the head of the table and shoves her to the seat next to his right, and sits down, the last one to do so at the dinner table.


End file.
